On being a bride

If you follow me on Instagram you might have seen that I’m getting married in October.

We’re having a small wedding without many traditions, so I wanted to share a bit about what we’re doing for anyone who wants a bit of alternative wedding inspo.

I’m starting with some of my observations and feelings through the planning process, and – spoiler alert – it includes some stuff youre not ‘supposed’ to say. It mainly falls into how we’re supposed to feel, and how we’re supposed to look…

Let’s start with the feelings.

When we first decided to get married I got a bit freaked out by not having this all-encompassing, over-the-moon feeling of happiness that I thought I should have.

We’ve been together for a long time and I was never the kid who dreamt of getting married. We just wanted to have a celebration with the people we love.

So I didn’t feel any different once we decided to get married.

It made me worry that maybe I wasn’t doing the right thing, because as a bride, aren’t you supposed to be thrilled?

There’s so much expectation in society about women – the way they should look, the way they should behave, and the way they should feel about things. And when it comes to weddings that just seems to magnify.

Don’t forget you still have all of the normal things going on in your life, and if you’re anxious or low for any reason that isn’t going to go away just because you’re planning a party.

It’s hard to say to people that you’re worried or not excited about getting married, but it’s ok. It’s a slightly scary thing, let’s be honest! Stop worrying about how you’re ‘supposed’ to feel.

Now our day is a bit closer we’re both excited about it and we know we’re doing the right thing for us. All couples are different and will view this day in different ways – so let’s drop the expectations.

So, what about looks?

The pressure on women to look a certain way runs throughout our lives, but it goes in to over drive as soon as you’re getting married.

The lack of diversity in bridal magazine/images is insane – and I’m not just talking about the big issues like race and body image. How often do you even see a bride with short hair?!

I’ve questioned my own decision to wear my glasses because it just didn’t seem like the done thing, but I hate wearing contact lenses and never do usually – so why would I for my wedding? I just want to look like me (but with banging make-up).

So please know, it’s ok to be you. Whatever you look like, that’s how the person you’re marrying likes you. I hope it’s also how you like yourself.

It’s up to us to show the industry that we expect to see more than skinny white women with long flowing locks in bridal images.

Whether you’re getting married or not, please don’t let anyone tell you how you should look or how you should feel.

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